Yesterday night I came home. All lights were on, but there was nobody in. I went upstairs. In the corridor on the floor I saw a black pantyhose, a mask and two handcuffs. I held my breath. Master Zoran heard me and said I should kneel and wait for him. He entered the corridor. He asked if I had been sweating, playing tennis. I had. I was allowed to take a bath, but first I received a spanking.

I went downstairs. Master Zoran gave me fifteen minutes to get ready. The bath was still full after the Master washed himself. I cleaned myself, shaved my pussy and relaxed a bit. Then I dried myself, put on the panties, the mask and the handcuffs and went upstairs. I decided to kneel in front of the door and wait, but I got told off for that. I should have told my Master I was ready.

I had to crawl into the bedroom. Master Zoran gave me an inspection, to see if I had washed well. I had, and my shaved pussy was good too. I got a reward for that. I could smell the Master’s underpants and then I could give him a head.

Master Zoran felt if I was getting wet. He pushed a candle in my pussy. “This one has to stay in”.

Then the Master said I deserved a punishment, for things I had been doing last week. Anal training. As I was on my hands and knees on the bed, I felt lubricant between my buttocks. Then a small dildo was pushed inside. I tried to relax and breath deeply. Am I allowed to moan, Master? Well, all right.

After a couple of hours the Master came back. He took me under the shower. I had to wash him well. He told me to be more careful with his dig now since I had been to rough last time. But still I was to rough. I would feel that later. Then I had to lay down in the bath tub. Strange feeling, without water. Still I couldn’t see what would happen. The Master stood above me and began to pee. It felt warm and erotic. I was admiring him. I myself tried to do that a couple of times but I couldn’t pee much.

Master Zoran took me upstairs. He asked me to open the suitcase with toys and to choose something. I chose the handcuffs and the small anal dildo. The Master tied me up in an uncomfortable way, half laying down with my belly on the bed, arms up. He played with his fingers between my legs and hit me with his hand. Then I felt a lubricant between my buttocks. The Master put the small vibrator in. I moaned, first because I was uncomfortable. Did I allow you to make a sound? No, Master. I got beaten again. Now I was really getting excited and I asked permission to moan. The Master untied my handcuffs. He told me to give him a head. I love doing that. Then he took me on hands and knees.

In my new bra I walked into the bedroom. Master Zoran was already there. He came to me and looked at the bra. He liked it. The bra has see through cloth on the breasts, subtle. But what strange nickers you’re wearing! They are much too big, I can’t inspect you like this. Stupid, stupid, I had been thinking to put on another pair, but I thought the Master would be too tired to have a good look. I was wrong. I got a big spanking. Count, slut! And watch straight ahead of you, don’t put down your head. I was having a hard time doing everything at the same town, so the spanking took long. Tears were behind my eyes, my teeth were tight together. Again I forgot to count. What did I tell you? The beating got harder. I felt very humiliated. To make things worse I got a dildo up my ass. Keep on breathing! I will fill all your holes. I got a big dildo in my mouth, and with his dig Master Zoran filled the third hole. But today it was a punishment, because I had been masturbating in the absence of my Master. I didn’t come, he did.

The next evening, just before going to bed, I got consolation. Master Zoran wanted a blow-job. He wanted me to sit over him so he could lick me too. That was great, and it was a consolation.

Master Zoran gave this slave permission to play with a few other people. A friend of us is a professional Mistress, Mistress K. She had a household-slave visiting her.

When I was about to leave Master Zoran came home early. He asked what my fantasies were, regarding to the slave. I had to confess my dominant side is so blocked I can’t even fantasize about it. Mistress K. knows and she said I didn’t have to do anything, unless I was comfortable with it.

Master Zoran said you can let him go down on you, or fuck him with a dildo, but I felt like ‘help, I don’t want to do anything, just watch’. I had to take of my string and panties, so the slave could see me.

At a quarter to four, I rang the bell. Mistress K. said hello and together we walked into the room where the slave was. He, or rather she, was tight down on a chair. Her legs on the chair legs, her hands behind her back. slave d. was wearing a white blouse, a black skirt, black panties and black pumps. Under her dress I saw her dig. It was a lovely sight.

I myself was wearing a black leather dress, high heels and a black top.

slave d. got untied and her blindfold was taken away. She had to keep looking at the floor and be humble. We wanted coffee. While slave d. was making coffee, Mistress K. and I were chatting. What about a foot massage, she asked. Good idea.

I said slave d. had to put back the blindfold, and Mistress K. gave her four ball traps. As slave d. was giving me a foot massage, Mistress K. had to make a few phone calls. I took the chance to let slave d. talk about her fantasies regarding SM. She told me she had been having serving fantasies since she was twelve. She loves slave stories and auctions. She was more submissive than masochistic. I liked that, I feel the same way. She had been visiting a few clubs, especially to watch. She didn’t find what she was looking for. Four years ago she discovered Mistress K. She never had fantasies about women’s clothing, but she liked it when Mistress K. dressed her up. I liked hearing her tell, especially because there was a lot of recognition. But I didn’t tell her that, after all I was Mistress as well.

After the massage Mistress K. returned. During the afternoon slave d. collected some punishments, especially by laughing and being cheeky. She got tied down over a chair. I felt like spanking her and started to try out a couple of whips. Mistress K. took over, till the cheeks were nicely red.

Then slave d. had to lay down on the floor. She got a dildo in her ass. Then Mistress K. was dripping hot wax on her chest. She had to play with herself, but wasn’t allowed to come.

I went to the toilet to have a pee. Mistress K. came to get me. That’s a waste, so much nicer things to do with that. I kneeled above slave d. and dropped a few drops. There wasn’t more coming, pity, but luckily Mistress K. had some more.

I decided it was enough and went home. At home Mistress K. called me. This naughty slave had been looking at my pussy when I was peeing, under the blindfold. Mistress K. and I decided that a spanking wouldn’t be enough punishment. Next time slave d. comes, we’ll think of something.

This is a short story, but an important one as well. At ten o’clock in the morning, I was still snoozing. My Master decided we had to get up. He pulled away the blanket and gave me a spanking. But he did it in a very loving way. I felt my submission for him and got up. I was very grateful he helped me like this, because getting up in the morning is very hard for me. And feeling my love and submission, which was really triggered by the spanking, makes life worthwile. Thank you, Master Zoran.

This morning we woke up late. I got up to make tea and breakfast, and I thought maybe I could get a nice reward afterwards. But Master Zoran came down as well, as I was preparing the breakfast. I said well, I thought I might surprise you with breakfast in bed, and then maybe get another nice surprise afterwards (I must say, since the Dominance-submission thing got bigger in our relationship, I get more straight in what I would like. I trust that Master Zoran decides if I get what I ask for, or get punished because I had a big mouth).
Master Zoran said well, you might get what you like but first I have to wake up a little bit. So we had breakfast at the kitchen table. Afterwards he commanded me to come upstairs. I had to play with my pussy. Then I got a few hits on my bottom, which made me more alert. He went into a pretty straight fuck. It was also a punishment. I had been dreaming that I was fucking about every guy I was seeing in my dream, thinking it was a dream anyway and nobody would mind. But since being honest is important for a D/s relationship I told my Master about it. And anyway, as often with punishments, there is the enjoyable part too.
We changed positions. I got on top. But since I didn’t come quickly enough, Master Zoran turned around again to the Missionary Position, one of my favorites. I was allowed to play with my pussy and we came together.

Yesterday i was feeling very bad about myself. For two days i had slept till three o’clock in the afternoon, giving in to my tiredness. And i tried to give up smoking, but started feeling so sad about myself that i got some more sigarettes. i collected my courage and wrote a letter to Master Zoran. And now, this is what’s so great about being a subbie.
Downstairs in the kitchen my Master came to talk to me about the letter. So you wanna give up smoking. How much do you smoke? A packet a day, Master. That’s twenty cigarettes. From now on you’re gonna smoke five cigarettes less. That’s fifteen a day.
i was standing in the door. Master Zoran came to me and pinched my nipples. i stepped back. He said don’t step back. But somehow i kept stepping back. i was relaxed and it just happened. So, you keep stepping back, you need some punishment. Master Zoran told me to lean on the sink and put my ass backwards. He gave me twenty slaps with his hand. Twentyone.
Then he ordered me to go upstairs and get undressed. i had to sit down on my hands and knees with my head up. i got some more spanking. Then Master Zoran gave me a medium size dildo. i had to put it in my ass myself. The first part was easy, but then i started moaning. It’s hard for me to give myself over, but i am trying. Yes, i got it in. So I am going to fill all your holes. i got another dildo in my mouth. So you want a dildo in your pussy too? No, Master. i wanted something else. But first i got some nipple clamps.
Master Zoran started to fuck me, with the two dildo’s still in place. Actually i was feeling quite proud, being able to accept the dildo in my ass for so long, without getting too upset about it. i was feeling very submissive and very thankfull for the way my Master was touching me. Thank you Master for punishing me and caring for me at the same time.

There’s a gap in this diary. The reason is that Master Zoran and I turned valilla for a while, with just some spanking every once in a while. But things are changing. I tend to be very jealous concerning other women. Since my computer skills are getting better, I realised there’s a lot of stuff in the computer that I’ve never seen. I had a big mouth saying to Zoran that I would delete any nude picture of an ex-girlfriend, or love letter for that matter, that I would find. Zoran made me promise I wouldn’t do that, but the rebel in me had woken up. Well I could understand that I deserved the spanking I got. It was te toughest one I ever had, and every time I said no to the promise it was getting tougher. I couldn’t keep myself from screaming out loud as the whip burned my bottom. It wasn’t untill the next day that I felt my submissive self again, respecting Zoran to be my Master. I wondered why it had been impossible to make the promise. But it’s this rebel in me, that gets triggered by jealousy and other frustrations, even if I have no obvious reason for it. I wonder if I should write a training for myself on how to behave properly, since I don’t want to put Zoran into al that work just because I am obnoxious.

A few days ago Master Zoran was making a hole in the ceiling in the corridor. I asked him why he was doing that. Well, for a new alarm.
A few days later I found out the true purpose of this action. We just started to play. I was blindfolded. Zoran took me to the corridor. I had to lift one leg and put it in a ring. Then lift up the other leg (that's hard, to stand on no legs while you're blindfolded!) and put it in another ring. I could hold on to an iron bar. And guess what, I got fucked in many ways, standing with my hands on the floor, legs up, legs down, from the front, from the back. This was a real Love Swing!

Today I managed to be home early. I felt like, well, like preparing myself, dressing up nicely, wearing high heels. I prepared some food and put it in the microwave, so I wouldn't have to worry about His stomach. O.k., I was also worried about my own stomach since I tend to get a bit moody when I don't eat regularly. I tried about five dresses, till I got a strong feeling to wear my light blue suit. I was a bit hesitant, because I could go to work in that very easily, but a stong feeling is a strong feeling, and today I felt like showing my feelings. I decided on pink lingerie, no stockings and my new grey heels. No stiletto's, quite decent shoes. I was about ready when Master Zoran arrived.
Well I don't know what was so different about today, but before I finished my first drink I felt pretty drunk. I had a hard time finishing my dinner, because I was talking so much. I have to be forgiven about this one: I am not able to recall exactly everything that happened. There was Master's belt, spanking, counting. He took me on the staircase and made me swear he was the first to take me in that place. Well, he was. I may not be able to remember every detail, but I do remember being very honest. Not that I am a big liar, but I often keep my feelings to myself. I loved being in that space, surrendering to Master Zoran, being able to trust and show my true self.
Yes Master, I know there is more to tell, but do you want me to write down EVERYTHING?